Darce Fardy – Living with dementia

I think I am doing fairly well as far as advancing dementia is concerned. I think Dorothea agrees. I know she is always on alert, but we can still enjoy ourselves.

I relieved her of one substantial worry when I voluntarily decided to stop driving. I read recently that one of the issues relevant to dementia is for the partner of the person with dementia to persuade the other to stop driving.

On the other hand, I am probably a bit of a nuisance in that when Dorothea gets into the car, I jump in beside her. She is pleasant about it.

The other day on my iPad, I was offered all the information I need to know about dementia. I skipped over that. I am trying to find out why I am so exhausted much of the time. Is it a symptom of dementia or am I just plain lazy?

Dorothea considered it very briefly and came down on the side of laziness, if not sloth.

On the gruesome side I hope to die before Dorothea. She can handle that but I would diminish without her. I have often thought how I would manage without Dorothea if she died before me. I don’t think I could. She is strong.

On the brighter side is our good fortune in having friends visit.

Debbie is a longtime friend of Dorothea and I love her. Her husband David is a Toronto lawyer with a handyman’s streak. They are the parents of Christian, who visited us earlier with his new bride Kate. They took pride of place in an earlier column and won our hearts.

Debbie wanted to visit to learn how to bake a Christmas cake, not to see me. Hard to believe. Dorothea bakes about a dozen Christmas fruitcakes this time every year for family and friends.

David used his handyman skills and fixed things that needed to be fixing, such as the lock on the shed door, the handle on the fridge door and the alarm system. Although I grew up with three brothers, none of us were handy. In Newfoundland, handy also means nearby, so I guess we were.

So there we are. No cure in sight and none expected. But lots of support from family and friends.


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